Just realized I've been wearing my shirt inside out all day. No wonder everyone was giving me strange looks.
Just sneezed so loud, I think I scared my neighbor's cat into thinking it's mating season.
Asked my boss if I could leave work early today and his response was: 'Yeah, if you can convince the printer to stop jamming.
Just realized that I've been pronouncing "WiFi" wrong this whole time. It's not "wee-fee," it's "why-fi." Because every time it cuts out, I say, "Why, Fi? Why?" 樂
Did you hear about the corn that went to the party? It popped in and everyone thought it was a-maize-ing!
Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!"
Just found out my toaster isn't waterproof. Guess I won't be making any toast in the bathtub today.
What did one wall say to the other wall? I’ll meet you at the corner!"
Just realized that I'll never be as cool as a cucumber because cucumbers are literally 95% water and I'm mostly made of awkwardness. 勒
