Just found out that my fridge is actually a time machine. I put some leftover pizza in last night and this morning it was already gone!
The secret to a happy life: a good sense of humor and a pantry full of snacks. Can't go wrong with laughter and munchies!"
Just saw a squirrel running around with a slice of pizza. I guess he's having a great time playing "squirrelicious"! ️
Just found out that I have a hidden talent - I can lose my car keys even when they're already in my hand! 臘♀️
Just attempted to make a smoothie without the lid on the blender. Kitchen is now redecorated with a lovely green hue.
When I was a kid, my parents told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. Turns out, identity theft is a crime." ️♂️
Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!"
Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers? He'll stop at nothing to avoid them!
Just learned the art of Jiu-Jitsu. Now my couch and I have a new relationship. We roll together all the time!"
