Hey friend excited to be here

I’m not clumsy. It’s just the floor hates me, the tables and chairs are bullies, and the wall gets in the way.

They say marriages are made in heaven. But so is thunder and lightning

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak

My mind is like my internet browser. 19 tabs open, 3 of them are frozen, and I have no idea where the music is coming from

Some days, the best thing about my job is that the chair spins

Why do chicken coops only have two doors? Because if they had four, they would be chicken sedans