I asked my computer if it could sing me a song. It replied, 'I can't. I have no voice.' Well, thanks for crushing my dreams, Siri.
Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!"
Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
I finally got around to cleaning out my closet and found a real treasure - a treadmill! So, if anyone needs me, I'll be hanging clothes on it for the next few months.
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!"
I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes...she hugged me.
Just realized I've been using my headphones upside down this whole time. No wonder the music always sounded a little strange.
I just realized that my cat owns more hoodies than I do. I think she's secretly auditioning for a rap career.
Just saw a squirrel putting on a tiny karate uniform and practicing its moves. Guess he's nuts about martial arts!
