Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
I asked the librarian if they had any books on paranoia. She whispered, 'They're right behind you!
I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes... She gave me a hug.
Sometimes I pretend to be normal. But it gets boring, so I go back to being myself."
I was trying to think of a witty and hilarious status update, but then I realized I'm on the wrong website... I'm good at confusing Google for Facebook, but not that good!
Just saw a squirrel practicing parkour in my backyard. Guess he's preparing for the next Olympics! ️
I tried to lose weight, but it kept finding me again. Turns out, I'm on a see-food diet. I see food and I eat it!
Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
Ever noticed how neckties are just socially acceptable turtlenecks for snakes?
