hi fam, today I've been dealing with the feeling of rejection coming from a friend I really love

this video by Orion Kelly made me think about sensitivity and fear of rejection as an autistic person, and I would like to know if you ever experienced something like I'm going through currently:

1º: this friend insulted a guy that makes a radio show I love and that, for me, works as a safe place, a routine, something I know I'll watch and laugh every morning.
2° I get triggered, try to let it go
3° I see her interacting on social media with someone who hurt me real bad and used to mock of my interests
4° I missed her birthday, but I didn't know how to tell her because I was still mad for that
5° in an impulsive move I unfollow her from Twitter
6° I realize my mistake today, and when I go check out her feed she tweeted "not only he was a dick, but also a bad friend"

this friend has been there for me in a way many few people have been, I've tried to be for her the same way, and I even got her in touch with the owner of my last apartment so she could move there and get out of her parents house. she never, ever mocked my stuff, my story, my interests, my way of thinking, and she never questioned me for my traumas and my odd behavior as I started to unmask and say what I really meant. so I feel a bit betrayed and more lonely that yesterday.

have you ever been through something like this? is there any way out where I don't lose another friend? there's even more to this but I wanted to keep it short 🫂

@spicytakes anyone got a ride tomorrow I have to be at de4f con, by ride I mean stay in your lane. There’s a harassment hotline if you feel unsafe. You’d find me ded with any tech there. Stay in airplane mode if possible etc. “Connect and charge your devices” 👁️Oh and party? Look my music liner credits, it even ask for my dealer and groupies and roadies and shout outs, so it’s not like that but yes let there be cotton mouth and raise the price of herbs, alcohol, and water accordingly. Casinos? Yeah let’s take your money no offense, we’re trained to do so. Feds hahaha sorry hmmm 🧐you wanna party. Weirdos. This is serious. Not like we’re the only place in the states with airplane interference but who cares we zap you. Ps do not enter Area 51, aliens? It’s more like trespassing anywhere here with that amendment.
Notary office, chill my friends are getting drilled on the uk for calling people “dumb”. Please excuse me for my French in this post. Ai Revior, Boubjour, service . Exe

This is only spicy because you have to sugar coat it a bit.

Dang no one pays me for this yet 😂 There have been some willing to donate and I said please save your money. A custom OS is only as good as any brain with a decalficied pineal gland. 💀⚛️💡🤝🚁

This was expensive to post. 👍💀🐸🔊

Almost no one knows what autism is, let alone alexithymia, and that's normal because unless you have to live with someone who is autistic, it's unlikely you'll investigate it on your own.

So I've prepared a small guide that I hope will help you understand me a little better:

I have a unique combination of characteristics that affect how I interact with the world. I am autistic, have alexithymia, and a great capacity for imagination and problem-solving. I also have sensory hypersensitivity. Here is a summary of what this means:

1.	Autism: This means that I sometimes have difficulties interpreting social cues, communicating effectively, and adapting to changes in my environment. I like routines and can have very deep interests in certain topics.

2.	Alexithymia: This makes it difficult for me to identify and express my emotions. I don’t always know what I am feeling, and it can be complicated for me to communicate my emotions to others.

3.	High Cognitive Imagination: While I struggle to fantasize about emotional experiences, I have a great capacity to imagine and create in areas not related to emotions, such as solving problems, thinking abstractly, and developing novel ideas.

4.	Sensory Hypersensitivity: This means I experience sensory stimuli intensely. For example, cold feels extremely cold to me, and sometimes I don’t feel the heat until it is very intense. Additionally, I cannot discriminate sensory inputs, meaning I cannot ignore the stimuli around me and find it very difficult not to pay attention to everything happening around me.

These combined characteristics mean I can have a very intense focus on my interests and am passionate about discussing and acting on them. However, due to my difficulties in connecting socially and expressing my emotions, I have felt loneliness for much of my life.

If I ever seem distant or unsure of how to react emotionally, please understand that it is part of my condition. I appreciate your patience and understanding. I am always willing to share my interests and discuss the topics I am passionate about, it just might be in a way that is different from what you are used to.

Thank you for taking the time to read this and understand me better 💚💜