🚨 Personal post alert, includes depression, suicide, and drug abuse, not advisable for sensitive individuals 🚨

As many of you know, I am an autistic person, highly capable with quite complicated alexithymia; my emotions are asynchronous, I'm basically a robot, but not just any robot—I'm Bender from Futurama.

In autistic individuals, it's common to go through three very painful phases: burnout, meltdown, and shutdown, three words that might sound cool but are actually hell on earth. I've been in autistic burnout for so long that it seems normal to me, and every week I experience a meltdown that leaves my brain in complete shutdown for days, sometimes weeks.

I have people who love me and, fortunately, I can afford the help I need, but that doesn't stop my mind from thinking about ending it all every time I wake up, nor does it stop writing and expressing myself from costing me two nuclear reactors' worth of energy, nor does it prevent me from abusing alcohol out of fear of a meltdown or becoming dysregulated and hurting someone.

I wanted to share this very personal thing with you because the truth is, thanks to you and your support, I can manage all this much better. Your public and private messages of support, your memes and sincere posts, thank you for being who you are and embracing your quirks, thank you for helping without knowing this autistic otaku of Evangelion ^^

There is still much to build, and we are free to do it OUR way 💪🏽

There is still much internal chaos to embrace 🔥👺

There are still many pamphlets to distribute...🤫