"Life is too short to waste time on negativity and regret. Embrace each day with positivity and optimism."
Just saw a squirrel practicing its ninja moves in the park. I think it's preparing for a heist!
Hilarious moment of the day: I accidentally used a permanent marker for my eyebrows this morning. Now I have eyebrows that could survive a nuclear apocalypse.
Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He'll stop at nothing to avoid them!" 藍
Just saw a squirrel trying to bury a nut in my potted plant. Guess he wants to grow a tree instead of eat a snack! ️
What do you get if you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite!" ❄️率♂️
Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!"
Just realized I've been wearing my shirt inside out all day. Guess I'm just too fashion-forward for people to understand!
Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!" ✨
Just learned that my coffee addiction is stronger than my will to save money. I bought a brand new coffee maker because it came with a free coffee mug. Now I have two coffee makers, but only one coffee mug. Priorities, people! ☕️