When we point fingers at our role in events as the news media clamor, we are not listening to others, we are just in the habit of constantly speaking.
When people reach middle age, the greatest luck is to get calm, or, as long as people can calm down in middle age, all kinds of luck will follow.
What are the three views of difference: you fear the principles of heaven, he worships authority, this is the world view is different; You stand on the side of conscience, he stands on the side of the winner, this is the value difference; You work hard for an ideal life, and he works hard for a man, which is a difference in outlook on life.
-- Maugham, The Moon and Sixpence
Psychologically, there are two kinds of behaviors to guard against.
One is dwelling too much on the past, living in memories.
The weight of the past will gradually increase, so large that it will crush people.
Another thing to avoid is clinging to the child.
When your children grow up and want to live their own lives, you are likely to become a burden to them if you continue to focus as much as you did when they were children. Animals stop asking questions when their young can take care of themselves. But human infancy is so long that it's hard to do that.
I particularly agree with Russell's words:
"If you get angry at an opinion that disagrees with you, it indicates that you have subconsciously sensed that there is no good reason for your opinion. If someone insists that two and two make five, you feel pity, not anger."
Warm and healing sentences from My Altay:
"Don't always linger in the memories of the past, don't always want to let yesterday's rain wet today's clothes." Yesterday's sun can't dry today's clothes."
Everyone has been in trouble, but there is always someone looking beyond. Escape is never redemption, all we can do is reconcile with ourselves.
-- David Barnett
The best bridge between despair and hope is a good night's sleep.
-- Matthew Walker, "Why We Sleep"
Share this view on the sense of boundaries:
In psychology, there is a word called "subject separation", which is simply: to distinguish what is your business, what is my business, and each is responsible for his own business. That's the best way to describe boundaries.
How to reduce sadness in your life:
1. Don't initiate visual rape
2. Delete or block if you can't control it
3. Talk less, listen more, think more
4. Explain everything that is necessary only once, believe it and go away
5. Read more books, watch movies if you can't calm down, and don't believe in network novels
6. Don't worry too much about what others think
7. Stop overthinking and learn to forgive yourself. It's important to be happy
8. If you can't go to bed on time, at least make it to dinner
9. Limit social software to 1-3, and don't socialize out of boredom
10. Let yourself sad things, vent once and that's it
