• Did you hear about the two people who stole a calendar?
They each got six months. 📖
A woman in labor suddenly shouted, “Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t! Couldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”
“Don’t worry,” said the doc. “Those are just contractions.” 👨⚕️
Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road.
I asked him, “What’s the word on the street?” 💀